Monday, July 20, 2009

Evil sis in law

I've been wanting to write a post about my sis in law for a long time. It's such a long story & don't want to get upset by writing it. I also don't want to write a novel. I'll try to keep this as short as I can. I met Anthony in 03 & we got engaged in June of 05. I never liked his sis, but tried to tolerate her for him. We started planning our wedding in June 05. She met a guy in Oct of 05 & got engaged like 10 days later & started planning her wedding. We were getting married in May of 06 in Bermuda. We planned on having a party when we came back here & it would be our wedding party, so our friends that couldn't go to Bermuda could go. She wanted to have her wedding the same day as our party & for us to have the party together. I said no way. We had been planning it & it was our special day. We had a fight & I had an anxiety attack. Ever since that day I've hated her. My FIL finally convinced her to have her wedding a different day. Everyone was on our side. Her hubby told Anthony's Dad that he couldn't wait for him & my MIL to die, so they could get all of their $. Even after that I tried to be cordial to her for my hubby. So we had our wedding shower & she came. She ended up giving me lingerie that she had bought for his ex-fiance. There was a tag on it that said 2002. Anthony got her to admit that she bought it for his ex. She said she didn't want to keep going out & buying things if he wasn't going to get married or something to that effect. That he should have just married her. So I was even more po'd after that. She still came to our wedding party on 6-12 & we attended her wedding on 6-25. It was really hard for me to be cordial towards her after all of this. Other things happened. We were trying to sell our house in MA. His sis & him showed up @ our house drunk & they both had to use the bathroom. We had a showing going on of our house & our realtor was in the house with a couple viewing it. She ran in the house & used the bathroom. He decided to pee on the side of our house outside in some bushes. We were sitting in the yard. Anthony was trying to quietly yell @ him & to tell him to not do that & how we had a showing going on. He didn't care. Her hubby is a huge loser, con-artist, fake etc..So is his sis. They're perfect for each other. Fast forward to Dec of 07. We had just moved to NH. Their Grandmother died a week after we moved here, she had moved in with them the June before. She made his sis the executor of her personal finances & all. I think the only reason they took her in was because they knew they would have access to her $. They bought a couple of cars, motorcycles, trucks, vans etc... I mean like 3 motorcycles (they would buy 1 & bring it back & get a new 1), 2 cars & a bunch of other vehicles. So they were just spending her $. Their G'ma left her only son (my FIL) $, Anthony & his sis. She did give Anthony & his Dad their $ cds that she left them, but she somehow ended up with all of the $. She lied to our lawyer & said she gave her dad & Anthony their $. Anthony has a lawyer friend, but didn't want to spend the $ to have her get the $ from them. He did have her send a letter asking for them to list exactly where the $ went, but they never replied to it. So we haven't seen her or him for a year & 1/2. So on Saturday, the day of Tara's party I went down to get the mail. I opened my garage door & there was a car sitting there in our driveway. I didn't recognize the person & just thought it was 1 of our guest's hubbys that I hadn't met, there early. So I said hi & then it hit me who it was. So I said very rudely "What are YOU doing here". He said "she's dropping off presents" (for Tara). So I continued to walk down our hill to the mailbox. I came up the driveway & his sis was just getting in the car (A brand new car I might add). They had the windows open, so as I walked by I bent down & looked inside & said "Oh, you got a new car with our $? Real nice" (sarcasticly). I slammed the garage door & went inside. I went upstairs & Anthony was pretty shocked too. Opening the door to her. She didn't say much & gave him a huge horse stuffed animal (that she must have gotten @ a yard sale for 50 cents) for Tara & another wrapped pres. He didn't know that D was there too. I was litterally shaking & had another anxiety attack. After my anxiety attacks, my head usually starts pounding. So it did. I couldn't believe this happened the day of T's party. I think my MIL mentioned the party was that day & she didn't know that D would show up too. So I somehow have to let his parents know how she isn't welcome around me or my daughter (another fight). I was thinking last night that I would like to have a restraining order against both of them, so they can't come on our property & near Me or Tara. I haven't mentioned it to A yet & I'm pretty sure he's going to say that I can't do that. I also don't know the details on getting a restraining order. If you actually have to be threatened. It seems like the few people that I know that have them against people got them pretty easily. But I'm sure that A will be against me doing that. Him & his Dad aren't really mad @ her, just him. They think she was brainwashed by him. I think she's a money grubbing con-artist & knows exactly what she was doing. So it's really hard dealing with this. I had hoped that I would never see her again, but knew that someday she would come back into our life. I lived in fear of that. I won't be around her & go thru' anxiety attacks. I also don't want my daughter around her. So I really wanted to vent about this & get it all out. I keep waiting to see them on the news that they conned the wrong person & got arrested or something I'm sure he's done this before. I'm surprised that he's still around & hasn't left her & took off with all of the $ yet. I do believe in Karma, it just takes so long sometimes.


sPaRkLiNg sCrApBoOkS said...

You know what hun, don't let them get to you. Trust me, I was disowned for $$$$, I know how that goes all too well. And I have SILs from hell too, more than 1! But the main thing is to not let them get to you. Remember, what comes around goes around!karma baby!
You have a beautiful family! Just focus on that! xOxO

Lisa Petrarca said...

I know how hard it is when you have people like that in your life...been there. I finally got to the point of realizing that I was not going to give them power & control over me anymore!

It's sad how much damage people can do if we allow them. Just hang in there and talk yourself down every time they come around...they will get their's, it ALWAYS happens & you wont have to do anything.

Thanks for stopping by my Blog!

Kristina with a K said...

You know what stinks? We can't pick who we're family with. I'm not a believer of the whole "blood is thicker than water" crap and because of petty BS, I've actually stopped talking to one of my sisters.

I could say hang in there, but I think it's just a matter of avoiding her.

I'd rather surround myself with people I love that love me and have my best interests at heart. Family or not.

lissa8869 said...

Hey darling - I know others have probably told you the same thing, but when you're upset & anxious, the only ones it's affecting is you, Anthony & Tara - Doug & Roseanne are off in their world not even giving you a second thought, so it's wasted energy. Don't let her have power over you. It's the hardest thing in the world, but it's actually a conscious decision you need to make each time a situation arises. I've physically had to say to myself - let it go, don't give it anymore thought and concentrate on things that make me happy. By letting her get to you, you give her more than she deserves.

You can do this! :-)

wallys girl said...

I didn't realize that Dough said that stuff to your FIL, to his face. You prob told me about it, but seems like so much trash is being thrown around by Roseanne that it's hard to keep track of it all. I kind of felt bad seeing Anthony's dad at Tara's party and seeing how sad he looked. It's hard to have raised a daughter like Roseanne. I don't know what his father is like personally, since I never really gotten to know him (he didn't say too much in the car ride from the cruise when Anthony's dad and mom offered to drive us home). He kind of reminds me of my mom, keeping things to himself, not sure what to do or say; keeping safe not trying to get into any trouble but living quietly in torment. I guess his dad has a lot to deal with concerning his own wife and helping her out. Fortunately, to their credit, they wound up rearing a terrific son :D.
~Laura (A.K.A. Tara’s Godmom.:) )